“How God Did Me Dirty” – Omotoyosi Bibire Salihu @tysalihu

My word for today is #prayer and it’s a humorous account of how my Husband went and got me pregnant.

In 2015, I went to Jos with the rest of my crew, to see my SIL who is a pharmacist and begged her for Vitamin E so my skin can GLOWWWW

Shortly after, I found that I was pregnant, I was furious with God Ahn Ahn, you know I don’t have a job, I already have a boy and a girl, why God, why…

My Husband bore the brunt o, as God is in Heaven, I can’t blame him face to face so Mo Salihu was the one who bore the brunt, why will he sef get me pregnant? In all of this, I wasn’t to blame o, I need everyone to understand this.

My Husband and a couple of friends will counsel me, do you know how many people are looking for the fruit of the womb?! I’m like wetin concern me, lol!!!

Meanwhile, I looked really lovely whilst pregnant, I glowed like no man’s business.

Fast forward to the 36th week, I went for a scan and was told the baby was breech… Ehnnnnnnnn breech kini.

Recall me and God were still Fighting, I was still very furious, somebody that doesn’t have a job, you went and “gave” her pregnancy, all the fasting, and prayers, all the righteousness, you gave her fruit of the womb. As who does that, who, who!!!

And now the baby at 36 Weeks is Breech.

My Doctor said “Madam, please begin to prepare for caesarean birth, because babies do not usually turn after 30 weeks; he added jokingly, alternatively, you can begin to fast and pray”

But I was fighting with God na, who will I now fast and pray to…. ???!! I didn’t want a caesarian birth because it will scatter our finances, I began to prepare nonetheless.

I grudgingly began to fast as well, I prayed lol for forgiveness, I forgave God too, afterall it wasn’t my fault that I got pregnant.

At 39 weeks, this baby still hadn’t turned, what’s wrong with this baby sef, I don’t know if he knew I wasn’t even enthused at his coming.. Nonsense.

Then a Miracle, at 40 weeks, I went for another checkup and my baby was cephalic, he had turned head down…..yayyyy hallelujah; even the Doctor was shocked like haaaaa, wonderful!! but he took it in his stride,

Nothing is impossible with God Fam.

I was overjoyed, for the very first time in this pregnancy, I smiled genuinely.

Oya Baby come down, we are already 40 weeks, I started doing a series of exercises that will agitate the baby to come… Saaaaam, he refused o… Nawa o, which kain pikin be dis?

So Doctor said let’s give him 2 more weeks, Oga o, what is he doing in my tummy na, is he boiling potatoes dia?!

After the 42nd week, Doctor said Madam, come on Tuesday the 28th June 2016, we will induce you to labor if you do not fall into labor yourself…haa oga o. And I had begged God o, even forgave Him for making me pregnant…

That morning of the 28th, I went around doing stuff I needed to do, cos the doc said to come in the evening at about 8 PM.

I went to the market, got soup things, went to CAC, trying to sort everything out. At 7 PM, I felt a pang and dismissed it as one tiny thing, I carried on with my Efo riro that I was making.

My Husband said why don’t we go and wait for the Doctor, I said those people will just keep us waiting…but he prevailed, and we left home at 8.45 I think.

The minute we set foot inside the Hospital, I went into labor full time, the gynae on duty said come let me examine you, immediately she stuck her hand in me, I screamed yeeeeeeeeeee, this is the real labor ooooo

She saw I was already fully dilated, it was just the amniotic fluid preventing baby from jumping out, she ran upstairs to prepare the labor room.

While on the staircase, she heard me scream again as I experienced another powerful wave of contractions, the poor woman ran back to my side.

At that point, she came back and with my Husband assisted me upstairs, I felt my baby’s head and was screaming like a market woman, all my lawyer English had deserted me hahaha

I obviously could not go to the labor room, I was taken directly to the delivery room which wasn’t even ready for me, the midwives and doctor were running into each other, and yours truly was in last stages of labor.

The doctor told my Husband, please bring the baby things real quick, they asked me to lay down, broke the amniotic fluid and out came Mr. baby, he came angry and filled with contempt, what’s happening here gangan, why am I here. he came redfaced!

I spent a total of 15 minutes though it felt like a year, from where I entered the hospital to when I gave birth. My Husband came back with the baby things only to hear the cry of his bouncing baby boy, I swear it was quite emotional. My “Union Bank Husband” was moved to tears

Friends, this is how Oluwafelami Ojonugwa Salihu came into our lives and we love him daku, such a special baby.

There’s nothing prayers cannot sort out. My point is even at my stupidest, I understood the power of praying. I understood how much God loves me.

Prayer will never take the part of preparation, You prepare, you pray! God fully expects you to prepare for your blessings, and also continue to pray for them.

What is it that has you in anguish today, what is it that makes you cry inside while maintaining a brave face, what is it that makes you happy, take everything to God in prayers, He hears, He listens, He works on our behalf.

Fam, go on your knees…..PRAY!!! prayer works

I pray for each eye reading this, may the Lord God Almighty meet you at the point of that need. Amen

p.s. the Vitamin E was actually the culprit or so I was told. it apparently cleans the system and gingers one’s fertility…Haaaaa, so it was me all along

TGIM, eyin temi

My name is Bibire Ose Fowora (Pedigree cannot be bought or Class cannot be bought with Money).

I am a badass Marketer!!!

you can catch up with the writer @tysalihu on twitter

Written by BoomRadioNG